Accidental Brilliance

Recently I had someone ask me why I was going crazy to cross everything off my to-do list. Didn’t I realize that I was on vacation? I should be resting, not working. But since I am about to change directions in life, I feel there is no time to rest. When you rest, you miss deadlines. You get lazy. You eat 2 chocolate bunnies.

I spent the day organizing my daughters’ closets yesterday. This entailed bringing up bins from the basement and switching over the clothes. (Watch, it will snow 2 feet now!). My older girls, who go back and forth from my house and their father’s house, used to sleep upstairs. Now all 3 girls sleep downstairs. While the girls LOVE this arrangement, the extra small closet does not. Most of their clothes have to reside upstairs. I picked out several outfits, which I know they’ll hate, to place in the small closet. Let’s see how long this lasts once they return home.

Snowshoes, that were never used this winter, were replaced with life jackets. Bulky coats and winter accessories were placed downstairs too. And even though it feels so good to have accomplished this, my list is still HUGE! There are big changes coming down the pike in my life. (I can’t reveal them yet, but I will soon.) I have to set the ball in motion here. No one else will do it for me.

Obtaining an iphone to replace this POS non-iphone (don’t wish to be sued) that randomly turns off for no reason is also on the list. I need to prep for work. I have doctor’s appointments, because isn’t that what vacation is for? So sad really….. Lunch dates with friends, shopping, and yard work are also on there. If there’s time the cars will be vacuumed. So you see, there is NO time to rest. If I don’t do these tasks, they will remain on my list and haunt me. They’ll turn into weekend tasks and I won’t want to do them and then before you know it, we’ll still be wearing sweaters in July and the car will grow a mold person.

Do I wish I was on a beach laying in the sun with a nice tropical drink in my hand? A big emphatic YES! But it’s not going to happen. What I can be happy about now is that I can cross things off my list that will make my weekends feel more like mini vacations.  I can be happy about the fact that this week is MY week; MY time schedule, MY projects, MY goals.

Happy Vacation!!!!!

Should I visit the French Riveria or the Amalfi Coast? Sip on a strawberry vodka cocktail or a strawberry margarita? Decisions, decisions….

(All images courtesy of pinterest.com)

It’s Easter morning. The 2 year old is asleep in my bed. My husband is on the couch, snoring intermittently. I’m sitting at the dinning room table listening to the birds and just enjoying the quiet. I have so much to do this morning to prepare for the holiday, but right now I just want to slow down. I want to freeze time until I’ve had enough silence. Then I can get up and do what needs to be done.

I’m not a big Easter person, so my house isn’t even decorated. I have a bin downstairs filled with cute bunnies and eggs my mother painted in ceramics class. But I figured it was better to leave them there since my 2 yr old loves to grab things and then throw them out of fear of getting caught. I dyed no eggs this year, which is sad really, but there never seemed to be a good time. I have no special dessert, except for candy filled plastic eggs. And I should say only the candy that I didn’t eat!

With that being said, I’m still excited for today. I’m excited to see my girls for a little bit this morning and to watch them sing a song in church in their pretty Easter dresses. I’m excited to come home and watch them hunt for eggs in the backyard. I’m excited to be around my family and friends. That’s what Easter is really about, isn’t it? Life and new beginnings. So here’s to your new beginnings! Happy Easter!

(Here are some images from Pinterest.com that I love for Easter).

Adorable! I seriously could have handled this…

Yum! Who doesn’t love toasted coconut?

Very Mary Poppins

Now what to wear….Ermanno Scervino or…

Jason Wu.
 

“Of course I have regrets. I think anyone who says they don’t is lying”….words of wisdom from my husband this morning. I think he’s right, and believe me, I don’t admit that often.

We all have regrets stemming from choices we’ve made. The choice to befriend someone, the choice not to speak out, the choice to eat the chocolate cake, or the choice to work hard. And sometimes it’s the “no choice” that we regret. That we didn’t walk away, speak our mind, or put ourselves first. They define who we are, that’s for sure, but they certainly shouldn’t be the end all be all.  I have made many more choices that worked out just as planned, or close enough anyway, than I do regrets. Choices that weren’t necessarily good, but the end result makes it all ok.

I had a friend who repeatedly told me to never regret anything. That the decisions I made, whether good or bad, were a part of me. In some ways she was right, but I think if you don’t at some point reflect and learn from your mistakes, you will continue to repeat them. That is a lesson I have learned.  So why do the regrets get all the attention? Why do they stick out in our mind and mock us? Because we often wallow in our mistakes and give them undo power over us, which only leads to, well, more regret. That is a cycle that needs to be broken.

What are my regrets? I will share only one. The others are mine to keep. I wish I had pushed myself to achieve more in school. Too often I coasted and I know deep down that I could have learned more had I just put in the effort.

Today I am filled with joy. I have a new direction to follow, a new goal to reach. It makes total sense. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it. I can’t post much about it now….but I promise I will as it unfolds.

If you are new to my blog, you might want to read my previous posts about my friend and author Norm Schriever and his book,Pushups In the Prayer Room (you can buy the book on NormSchriever.com). The idea for his book started from his blog (same title) where he posted excerpts from his trip around the world. Here is my last interview with Norm about his book. If you haven’t read it yet, get on that will you?

1. One of the best lines in the book is…”Human beings need certain things to survive, and just as much as food, water, and shelter, we need hope to uplift our spirits and love to nourish our hearts.” (Pushups In the Prayer Room) I’m sure you felt it as you wrote it. What changed in Thailand that you felt the need to help the children who watched you play basketball? You had seen children all over the world in these conditions, but now you made the choice to help. Why?

Actually we had helped kids and people in need all over the world, but it was just in that chapter that I documented how we started focusing on it more. In the beginning of the trip we were partying a lot more, but still always tried to help as many people as we could. It just became more of a priority about half way through the trip, and we began volunteering for the Red Cross and such. We had to pick and choose our battles, because there is SO much poverty and depravationthat we could have given a penny to every deserving person we saw and go through all of our money in a short time.

2. When you were in Isreal, you went for a walk near a beach and then found out there was a bomb in the sand. You just walked away calmly. It didn’t seem to shake you up. Why not? Did you feel as if you’d seen so much it didn’t matter at that point?

It really didn’t shake me up at all. It’s amazing what human beings can adapt to, but just like the other Israelis and Palestinians in the area, the threat of violence was a daily reality, so I grew a sense of fatalism, maybe as a psychological shield. The violence and terrorism occurred so randomly that there was nothing I could do to fight backor try to avoid it, so there was no reason to stress about it. Que sera sera.

3.We in this country sometimes steal to have more than our basic needs. Your stories highlight those who steal in order to meet those basic needs. Did you see that as a more justified reason? Did you look a blind eye to theft, as long as it wasn’t your money, while traveling?

I didn’t turn a blind eye to it, but I also understood that it wasn’t personal. I guess I also feel like it’s not my place to judge, because when I was younger I was so wild and stole everything that wasn’t bolted down, despite my comfortable middle class upbringing, so who the hell was I to condemn them? But when a hungry beggar runs by your table and grabs a roll off of your plate and keeps running, it’s hard not to feel sorry for them, and I guess it doesn’t make it right, but ethics won’t fill your empty stomach. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs we see that human beings cannot achieve higher levels of consciousness- of altruism and purpose- without first having their basic needs of food, water, and safety met. I know that I would be no different if I were in their position.

4. Before you left on your journey, you went into town and a man gave you his necklace. He told you there was magic in the beads and that they would bring you good luck. Considering what happened to you and how close you were to death, do you now believe in some of the superstitions of Peru? I absolutely love the moral code of the Incas. Have you tried to live up to it since your journey?

I really feel that for something to be true, you just need people to believe in it. I see all of our religions and spirituality and stories and superstitions to be connected. It’s all the same thing, no matter how we try to describe or create false separations. I felt the magic of the culture, and so did the Incas for a thousand years, so who was I to deny that?

I loved the Inca moral code as well- it’s so simple, yet all- encompassing. I don’t think I consciously tried to live up to that, though those very values did become big parts of my life, so maybe it was inside of me more than I thought.

5. Ok. I have to ask this. As a mother, this chapter was hard to read. I wanted to smack you, as I’m sure your mother did as well. When you were climbing Machu Pichu, why did you decide to use the water, knowing full well it was contaminated? Did you decide not to get airlifted to a hospital for financial reasons? Were the porters that were helping the other tourists aware of your illness?

I boiled the water so I thought it was fine. It takes a pretty strong parasite to survive that! We were out on the trail with no tour group, no guide, and there was no authority. I’d have no idea who to ask to try and get airlifted out, or if that was even possible. I’m sure everyone was aware of my illness! Hahaha. If I had passed out on the side of the trail and couldn’t go on, I’m sure someone would have tried to help, but I just soldiered on so they probably didn’t even think about it. You know my mom did worry incessantly about this chapter. That’s funny to me because I was in greater danger almost every day!

6. The taxi driver in Caracas, Venezuela stuck his neck out for you during the “almost carjacking”. I’m sure his overall motive was to save his own life, but his willingness to explain what was happening leads me to believe that he was a good person. How did the locals feel about the lack of police protection in these areas? Do they simply mark them off on maps as areas to never travel to?

Yeah, that taxi driver was cool. He was a veteran of that kind of thing, for sure. The locals have never known anything else so that’s their “normal”. Just like it’s our normal in the US that there are areas or neighborhoods you don’t go into. And how do we know not to go into them? We just know by what we observe. But most of Caracas is super dangerous- I recently heard that they’ve had twice as many murders as Mexico City last year. It’s all part of their daily existence for the vast majority of people there, not an exception for a few, so they’re not trespassing but living there.

I hope these questions have left you hungry to read his book. They’ve made me want to reread it! Thank you Norm for the opportunity to pre-read your book and ask whatever I wanted. I also sincerely appreciate the mention in the dedication. Good luck my friend!

*You can find Norm’s book at NormSchriever.com!

Sometimes I just look up at the sky and ask why? That’s it. Just why?

It’s that time of year…when skirts take center stage! We think bright colors and flowing lines. I think, now I can have bare legs and not have people ask me if I’m cold.

Here are a few of my favs….

I am absolutely in LOVE with this skirt. Not sure of the designer though.

Jason Wu… A girl can dream, can’t she?

J.Crew…totally my style.

LOVE the orange! Prabal Gurung

Ralph Lauren. Feminine and flirty

ASOS Maxi skirt in yellow

Aqua. Bold colors and heels.

Shop Ruche, vintage inspired skirts. You had me at vintage.

Happy Spring!

(Images from pinterest.com and J.Crew)

The faint ringing wasn’t from a dream. It was coming from the phone on the nightstand. Still groggy, Julia stumbled to the phone and answered in a half audible voice, “Hello?” The voice on the other end was familiar. But it should have been home by now. “Hey Jules, I’m going to have to stay over in the city. For some reason the trains aren’t running tonight and I can’t get home. I’m with a colleague right now.”Huh? Trains?” “Yeah. I’m in a taxi right now finding a hotel. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” “Ummm. OK.”. Even as she hung up the phone, this didn’t seem right.  The thought “he’s cheating” ran through her mind, but she was tired and in some ways didn’t give a shit at the moment. Across the house were two small children who would need her to be awake and full of energy tomorrow. She had no time to worry about this now.

As the girls ate their breakfast, Julia thought about the late night conversation. Why would trains not be running in NYC? And why did Max use the word “colleague”? Wouldn’t you just say a person’s name. Something wasn’t adding up. “Mom!! Can I have this cake for my party?” “What? Oh…sure.” The doubts drifted out of her mind as she sat down to plan the details of her daughter’s birthday party. There would be time to talk about this when Max got home.

“So, Max, tell me again what happened last night?”, Julia asked cautiously. Max looked up from his newspaper. His face changed. He suddenly looked angry. “Why are you asking me this? I told you. The trains weren’t running. Something was wrong. I don’t know why.”  Max quickly looked back at the newspaper. Ok, that went well Julia thought to herself. Should she dare ask another question and risk a fight?  But what the hell. She had a right to know. She would never do this to him. “What did you and your colleague end up doing?” asked Julia. “Huh? I just ended up staying at this guy Tom’s place in the city. Listen I have to get upstairs and do some work, ok?”, Max replied and walked away without waiting for an answer. Now what do I do thought Julia? Why snap at me? What the hell did I do to deserve that?

The days blended together as the family prepared for the birthday party. Max went into the city for work again, but this time he was careful to plan ahead to stay over. There were work dinners to have and he certainly did not want to miss out on the opportunity to network. Julia still knew something wasn’t right, but if she didn’t think about it, it wasn’t really true. Perhaps there was some part of her that needed this to happen. To put an end to something that was already dead. “Mom…what are we going to have for games?” Once again, Julia was stirred out of her thoughts. “Coming…” Julia vowed to think about this after the party.

This morning as I cut a lemon for my water, I did my best Bono impression and belted out “Lemon...” (Of course, right?) And when my husband said we made in just in time girls, well I thought of Justin Timberlake (Maya Rudolph sketch from SNL). Right? Makes total sense.

My brain is always firing, remembering random lines from movies, tv shows, and songs. While I think my comments are always funny, some people just don’t get me. In fact they might find me, well…annoying.

I’ve learned to keep most comments to myself and instead quietly chuckle. Of course that might just make me look, well I won’t say it, but it rhymes with shminsane….

(Do you know where that’s from?)

This morning did not go as planned. I spent my time cleaning instead of working out. The girls ate nothing but chocolate for breakfast. The hours went by way too fast. The one bonus was that the girls were playing nicely upstairs without fighting. It was time to get ready for church and no one was ready but me.

As I sit here now, in church, reflecting on how the morning unfolded, I am not very happy with myself. When no one was ready, I yelled louder. When no one listened, I grew angrier and angrier. This wasn’t part of my plan as I sat with my coffee this morning. My plan was to leave 10 minutes prior to church starting so we could actually be on time for once.

I don’t know if I am more mad that my children don’t listen to me or that I can’t fix this problem. That every time we have to leave the house, it’s a HUGE, and I emphasize HUGE production. Let me set the stage for you…the big one, as we call her, dilly dallies with her phone (a gift from her father, not me). She’s distracted. Often. The medium one whines and cries because no outfit is ever pretty enough and why can’t she just wear skinny jeans everywhere. The little one is hit or miss. Sometimes she’s ready and causes the least amount of issues. Other times she takes off everything I put on her. I have to shout orders because whispering and being nice doesn’t work. Believe me, I tried.

So this morning, after repeated requests to get ready because it was getting closer to the time to leave, I became crazy. Yes, I crossed over the boarder. I ranted and raved. I cried. I screamed that I was going to leave the house by myself and everyone could fend for themselves. I mumbled to myself that I really just needed to get away…that I couldn’t handle anything anymore. At that moment, my girls started to take me seriously and knew it was time to go. As we walked to the car, 5 minutes past the time church starts, I seriously wanted to just drop them all off, husband included, and drive somewhere to be alone. My neighbor asked how my morning was in a casual, “I’m just expecting you to say great” way, but I replied I’ve had better. She assured me the day had just begun. It will get better. I didn’t know if I should believe her, but boy I wanted to.

It wasn’t until I walked into the church daycare and cried that I finally felt better. The 3 moms there hugged me, dried my tears and told me they were just talking about the same thing right before I walked in. That I was indeed normal. I was a mom. And there wasn’t a mom out there who didn’t have one of those days. Who didn’t say those things that we know we shouldn’t say. They were right. It was just a bad morning. But I had to let it go if I wanted the day to be better. Their words comforted me. I actually smiled.

On my way out of church, my pastor who had noticed I looked sad on the way in, said You know…Alligator moms eat their young. We had a nice chuckle. The morning didn’t start out as planned, but I’m more than happy about the way it ended.