Join me on a tour of my sometimes daily, mostly random, accidentally brilliant posts.

Accidental Brilliance

This is how I got my almost 5 year old into the bathtub today. Proof that all you need to raise children is smoke, mirrors, and trickery. 
** Made with shaving cream and food coloring. Find more ideas on pinterest.

This is how I got my almost 5 year old into the bathtub today. Proof that all you need to raise children is smoke, mirrors, and trickery. 

** Made with shaving cream and food coloring. Find more ideas on pinterest.

Yesterday I attended orientation for my nursing program. 4 1/2 hours of meeting the staff, introducing ourselves, learning how to use the library remotely, accessing the mental health services on campus, developing study skills and time management, and listening to stories about almost killing patients. It was an overwhelming day as it brought the reality of my life for the next 12 months into focus. 

There are 35 of us in the program this year and we were told already that some of us might not make it. Maybe that seems cruel, but the Prof who mentioned it coupled this with a honestly sincere statement. If you don’t make it in this program, it’s not because you aren’t smart enough. It will be because life gets in the way. Life…that thing that will be going on around us as we stay in our fishbowl. 

Of the 35, about 7 of us have kids, 5 of us are former educators, and at least 10 others are CNAs, EMTs, or hospital/home care workers. We’re a mature group with much experience in the real world. For the next 12 months, they will be my end all be all. I should mention the professors are as equally as important. They WANT us to succeed and will do everything they can do to help us reach our goals. Need help with an assignment? Ask. Need help managing your school work and household? Ask. Feel like you’re losing it and need to be talked off a ledge? They’ll do that too.

Monday is the official start of the program; 2 classes in 3 weeks. Clinical starts the first week in September. Not only do I have to lean on my new classmates, I will need a solid family and friend network as well. People to take my children to school when I need to be on campus at 8am and others to pick my children up since I can’t be in 2 places at once (3 children, 2 different schools). People to pick me up when I feel guilty for missing out and others who will remind me it’s only a year. Only a year….I can’t forget this.

This weekend, I will get my self ready for a new adventure. Crock pot meals at the ready, school supplies purchased, childcare lined up… I will do this. One bite of the elephant at a time. 

Monday Funday

It’s mammogram Monday for me! Don’t get jealous ladies…your turn will come. Here’s hoping Monday doesn’t smash your boobs! Have a good one.

Monday Funday

It’s mammogram Monday for me! Don’t get jealous ladies…your turn will come. Here’s hoping Monday doesn’t smash your boobs! Have a good one.

Found this on pinterest tonight…

Found this on pinterest tonight…

True story. Now I look like I was stung by a bee or slept on my face all night. Damn you Lalaloopsy doll. I can’t be mad at my little one though because she wasn’t throwing it to hit me. It was more of a protest about sleeping. Alone. Without me. Now that I think about it, maybe it was on purpose….
(No, I know it wasn’t.)

True story. Now I look like I was stung by a bee or slept on my face all night. Damn you Lalaloopsy doll. I can’t be mad at my little one though because she wasn’t throwing it to hit me. It was more of a protest about sleeping. Alone. Without me. Now that I think about it, maybe it was on purpose….

(No, I know it wasn’t.)

When it came to friends, I used to joke and call myself needy. What I should have called myself was normal. It’s normal to desire strong friendships that make life a little easier. It’s not needy. Needy is calling friends all the time to help you through every problem in existence. It’s being dramatic and making your life more important than theirs. It’s not understanding that you are not the center of the world. 

Years back, I had two very good friends who were in similar life situations. We all had one child and we all took time off from work. It was easier to chat, compare experiences, give advice, and even get together. Fast forward to 10 kids later, one stay-at-home mom, one going back to school mom, and one teacher mom, we don’t have time to pee, let alone talk on the phone. I miss that simple time, when I didn’t feel like I was going through “this” alone. 

I’m not needy, but “wanty” of that time back. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if I want it, I need to pursue it. So there are 10 kids and their activities and different schedules…. True friendship surpasses all time and space. If I can find time to pee, I can find time to call. And true, true friends will even let you do both simultaneously.

When it came to friends, I used to joke and call myself needy. What I should have called myself was normal. It’s normal to desire strong friendships that make life a little easier. It’s not needy. Needy is calling friends all the time to help you through every problem in existence. It’s being dramatic and making your life more important than theirs. It’s not understanding that you are not the center of the world.

Years back, I had two very good friends who were in similar life situations. We all had one child and we all took time off from work. It was easier to chat, compare experiences, give advice, and even get together. Fast forward to 10 kids later, one stay-at-home mom, one going back to school mom, and one teacher mom, we don’t have time to pee, let alone talk on the phone. I miss that simple time, when I didn’t feel like I was going through “this” alone.

I’m not needy, but “wanty” of that time back. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if I want it, I need to pursue it. So there are 10 kids and their activities and different schedules…. True friendship surpasses all time and space. If I can find time to pee, I can find time to call. And true, true friends will even let you do both simultaneously.

Sssssh…don’t tell anyone where I am. My husband and daughter are outside right now picking wild raspberries in the yard. She also wants to look for caterpillars. I want to focus on my newly made drink and devise a plan to get some alone time in the bathtub. I have a friend who pretends to have the stomach bug so her children will leave her alone, but unfortunately it’s not that time of year.
Today on facebook, a friend posted that she was not her children’s cruise director. It’s funny because I say that all the freakin time to my two oldest. When I was little, I didn’t bother my mother with things to do because I knew she’d make me clean something. I went outside and found the neighborhood kids and didn’t return until the soles of my feet were black. Seriously black. One time they even had mud caked on them. Now I know that we don’t live in a cul-de-sac, but we have a fantastic backyard and as long as you have an imagination, who needs friends.
I can think of ten different things to do outside but they can’t think of one.
1. build a fairy house
2. climb a tree
3. play ball…you get the picture
This week has been even more difficult because the two oldest were with their dad all week and my youngest was ill for a few days. That meant obnoxious amounts of TV for her and not leaving the house for 2 1/2 days for me. (Don’t worry- I organized like crazy.) On top of that she’s dealing with being scared of everything; going to her room, to the bathroom, to play with kids that she knows… I was nice and comforting at first, but seeing this has been going on for months, I’ve turned into a raging bitch. Not only am I not your cruise director, but I’m not your “Gopher” either. 
So I can’t join my friend El for a drink tonight, but maybe we can skype each other from our bathtubs. It’ll be like the LoveBoat without all the drama. Ima need another drink Isaac. Cheers! 

*should say- he knows how long…

Sssssh…don’t tell anyone where I am. My husband and daughter are outside right now picking wild raspberries in the yard. She also wants to look for caterpillars. I want to focus on my newly made drink and devise a plan to get some alone time in the bathtub. I have a friend who pretends to have the stomach bug so her children will leave her alone, but unfortunately it’s not that time of year.

Today on facebook, a friend posted that she was not her children’s cruise director. It’s funny because I say that all the freakin time to my two oldest. When I was little, I didn’t bother my mother with things to do because I knew she’d make me clean something. I went outside and found the neighborhood kids and didn’t return until the soles of my feet were black. Seriously black. One time they even had mud caked on them. Now I know that we don’t live in a cul-de-sac, but we have a fantastic backyard and as long as you have an imagination, who needs friends.

I can think of ten different things to do outside but they can’t think of one.

1. build a fairy house

2. climb a tree

3. play ball…you get the picture

This week has been even more difficult because the two oldest were with their dad all week and my youngest was ill for a few days. That meant obnoxious amounts of TV for her and not leaving the house for 2 1/2 days for me. (Don’t worry- I organized like crazy.) On top of that she’s dealing with being scared of everything; going to her room, to the bathroom, to play with kids that she knows… I was nice and comforting at first, but seeing this has been going on for months, I’ve turned into a raging bitch. Not only am I not your cruise director, but I’m not your “Gopher” either. 

So I can’t join my friend El for a drink tonight, but maybe we can skype each other from our bathtubs. It’ll be like the LoveBoat without all the drama. Ima need another drink Isaac. Cheers! 

*should say- he knows how long…

10 Things I’m Angry About Right Now

1. If I text you, could you at least text back to say Hi? I get it, you’re busy. But hey, we’re all busy. If you have time to be on Instagram and Facebook, I’m pretty sure you have time to check if I’m alive. 

2. Not enough people say please and thank you anymore. I OVERLY use those expressions, even when I’m mad at someone, say like the government worker who messed up my social security status. I still thanked her for fixing it. 

3. My children have become ungrateful and I don’t remember instilling this awful character trait in them. Please tell me it’s the nature of a child. 

4. I still doubt myself as a parent and friend everyday. Maybe when I’m dead I’ll stop.

5. My first thought when my oldest girls tell me they had fun with their dad is to think I have to top it. Don’t worry, it’s just a fleeting thought quickly squelched by my conscious mind, which reminds me love is more important than things or activities.

6. I don’t have enough time or don’t think I have enough time to actually call my parents on the phone, so I text them. I hate this about myself. They deserve better than this.

7. My joints ache and it’s my fault from making poor food choices. Why do I do this again and again and again.

8. I start school in less than 2 weeks and I feel some people don’t view it as it should be viewed: a job. No, I don’t get paid, but I have to put in just as much effort as one would put into their job. It’s not my “free time” where I eat bon bons and joke with friends. 

9. Being a stay at home mom is a thankless job. No one really knows or cares about what you do, but when you don’t do it, they notice.

10. I’ve never been a Godmother. (So random, right?) 

Thanks for letting me vent y’all! I feel better already. (No, not really, but I’ll lie anyway). xoxo

Monday Funday

It’s Monday, but I don’t have to be anywhere or do anything. My little one is feverish again, so I’m going to get house stuff done. There are 2 weeks until school and still much to do.
So much…

Happy Monday!

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